A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

I plan to do my best to stay rational for this discussion if I can't at least be calm. But it's late, I'm tired and I'm not totally sure that I'm ready for this conversation so I can't make any promises. Okay, new goal. Don't fight with Ashton. Just let him give his explanation and go to bed. Everyone else is asleep, as long as I don't fight I won't wake anyone, right? Ashton looks anxious.

"Maybe you should sit down." He suggests. Oh shit, this is a 'sit down' conversation. That's not a good sign at all. My heart rate skyrockets.

"We could talk in your room if that would make you more comfortable?" He suggests. I shake my head. "Lucy is asleep." I remind him.

"Ah, right. My room then?" he offers and I shrug again. Sure, why not. I mean I don't particularly want to hang out in his room or anything, but at least in there we're less likely to wake anyone up. I'm very aware of Fin in the living room across the hall. We can't even turn on a light in here because it would definitely wake him. Ashton gestures for me to lead the way and I head to his room. He closes the door behind us. He left a lamp on and I can finally see his face clearly. To say he looks miserable would be an understatement. But then again, he's the one who told me that fae lie with their actions, not their words. Who knows if I can really trust him. Ashton gestures for me to sit on the bed, but I notice dad's office chair is still shoved to one corner of the room. He mostly works down at the station so I'm not surprised he hasn't missed it yet. I don't know why he even has an office here. Either way, I take the chair. It's the easiest way to force a little distance between Ashton and I. Ashton frowns and sits on the bed facing me.

"What else do you need to tell me?" I prompt when he doesn't say anything. It seems like he's struggling to find the words.

"I told you that because of this connection between us, we will want to be near each other, we will feel anxious when the other person is out of sight, even more so if we do not now the other person is safe. But there are more... Serious side effects that I should explain to you." He starts. I repress a groan. Seriously? We're already stuck together, what could be more serious than that.

"Basically, I cannot live without my entire life force." Ashton states and I furrow my brow. What exactly does that mean? I already HAVE part of his life force. Is he trying to tell me that he's dying or something? He doesn't LOOK like he's dying. Seeing my confusion, Ashton elaborates.

"I can survive just fine with only part of my life force inside of me, you're looking after the rest of it. But if something were to happen to it, to you... Well it is unclear what would happen to me." I stare in horror.

"Are you saying if I die then you'll die?" The words come out as almost a squeak. Ashton gives a half shrug, half nod.

"It is likely. The healer did not know much about this kind of connection, it is not common. But yes, if you were to die it is likely that I would die too. It is possible that I might survive, but at very least I would be... Broken. It is unlikely that I would be capable of using my magic anymore. That would be the best case scenario." He pauses then rushes to assure me.

"It is not something that you need to worry about, I have no intention of letting anything happen to you, not again." His voice is dark and his eyes are a little distant for a moment. I shrug again, apparently that's my default reaction right now. I'm too angry with him to be overly sympathetic, but I care about him too much to hurt him by saying something mean or sarcastic. So I'm stuck with the noncommittal shrug.

"If I were to die..." Ashton trails off.

"I would die too?" I guess. His magic was what kept me alive, I assume that I kind of need it too. To my surprise, Ashton shakes his head.

"No. You are completely whole. My life force was keeping you alive before, but you've healed. If I were to die you would be okay, but you would still be holding a piece of me, and that piece would continue to seek me out and miss me, as it did today." He explains. I stare.

"You're telling me that if you dies, I'm going to be stuck with that awful feeling of dread for the rest of my life as this magic inside of me forces me to look for someone I will never be able to find." I sum up and Ashton nods. "So the plan is to not get dead. Which was already the plan anyway." I point out and he nods.

"Yes, and to stay near each other. I will protect you and keep you safe. It is unclear what other effects my magic might have had on you, but you can survive portal travel and you recovered faster than we anticipated, although our healer has limited knowledge of humans so it might require a little more research." He adds thoughtfully. I let out a frustrated sigh.

"That's it? That's your plan. To just stay near each other. How would that even work?" I demand, trying to keep my voice even. I will not yell. I will NOT yell.

"Well.. You are able to come to the fae realm now. You liked it there." Ashton starts and I cut him off.

“You want me to come live with you, I have a life here. My dad, my friends. What would I do in the fae realm. Sure it's fun to visit, but to live there?" I shake my head but I don't stop there.

"Plus you just told me that if I die, you're screwed. What happens if someone threatens me again? Or threatens you? How are you so calm about this? Everything is RUINED!" I complain. Ugh, I'm getting loud. Back to my mantra. I will NOT yell. I take a deep breath and let it out through my nose.

Ashton closes his eyes and sighs.

"I understand that you are upset. But I did not plan for this to happen. Would you have preferred I let you die? Why are you so angry with me?" He asks, he looks as frustrated as I feel. He keeps running a hand through his hair and scratching at the base of his horns. Interesting, it's like he's trying to self-soothe.

"No, obviously I'm not upset about that. I'm upset that you didn't tell me about this, that you didn't plan to tell me about this. I could literally ruin your life, I probably already have. My life is probably ruined too now that I think about it." I groan. Ashton reaches forward like he wants to take my hand or comfort me, but he second guesses the decision and sits back again.

"We will figure it out together. I was not planning on letting this ruin anything. We can work out a way to stay near each other and to stay safe without giving up everything we care about. If I need to, I can come and live here with you." He suggests. I let my head fall backwards into the chair and sigh, closing my eyes. I'm exhausted, even more annoying. I'm more relaxed here with Ashton during this stressful conversation than I was curled up in my room with my best friend. Stupid magic, stupid feelings. Ashton can't come and live here. He needs to go home and become king one day, he would be so good at it. He can't give that up for me and my dodgy retail job.

"That suggestion upsets you. I thought you would appreciate the choice, knowing that I am not planning to steal you away to the fae realm and lock you in my castle or some other equally dramatic act. I quite literally will not be able to live without you Kat. I will do whatever makes you the most comfortable." Ashton promises and that makes everything worse. I open my eyes and look into his.

"That makes it even worse. Don't you get it? You've just made me responsible for both of our lives. Don't you understand what kind of pressure that is?" I am practically pleading with him to understand. I don't know what to do.