A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

Ashton finally caves and grabs my hand.

"I DO understand that. It is why I did not want to tell you about this. I was hoping you would make a decision about what you want to do without worrying about me. I know what kind of person you are, you are going to want to do what is best for me, even if it makes you miserable, even if you hate me for it, even if I hate you for it. I did not want to put you in this exact position." He tries to explain.

That's it. I'm done. THAT'S why he lied to me, kept secrets? Because he didn't want me to feel bad about it? The stupid, thoughtful ASSHOLE. He was trying to be NICE. The jerk. This is INFURIATING. I'm furious with him. I want to hate him, and I can't because he's so GOOD. I'm still annoyed that he kept things from me, I'm annoyed at this whole damn situation.

"That's it. I'm going to bed. I don't want to talk anymore. Unless there's anything else I desperately need to know?" I give him about three seconds to answer. Ashton stays silent so I sweep out of the room and back to my own where I crawl back into bed next to Lucy and stare into the darkness. A few minutes later there's a light knocking on the door. I know it's Ashton, I can feel him standing there. I don't answer and there's a clinking sound, then he goes back to bed. Curiosity gets the best of me, what was that sound? I crack the door open and on the floor is the glass of water I never got to drink.

I don't sleep well at all. I think I manage a couple hours rest, but when the sunlight starts to peek through my curtains I'm already awake and waiting for it. I should get up and have breakfast or something, but I'm just not ready to face the day yet, more specifically I'm not ready to face Ashton. I'm too exhausted to be angry with him anymore. Now I'm just over it. Sick of everything. Why does life have to be this hard? I understand that Ashton didn't plan for any of this to happen. I was dying and with his unique magic he saved my life. He gave so much of himself to keep me alive that now he will never be whole again and his reward for saving me is that he's stuck with me. Then he goes ahead and tries to be all selfless by not telling me and taking responsibility for the whole thing even though none of it is his fault. I want to be angry with him for lying to me, except he's kind of right. I AM miserable and I don't want to be in this position. BUT that doesn't make it okay that he was hiding it from me. This is something that affects both of us and we're both going to have to figure it out together. Ashton knocks on my door and I freeze. I want to work things out, but maybe not right now? I'm not ready. I need to think of a plan or some options. I need something to contribute to the conversation. It sounds like his plan is to have me guarded for the rest of my life, probably in the fae realm. Living there wouldn't be the worst thing, but he never asked me anything. It feels like he was just counting on the fact that because I love him I'll choose to go with him. He's said he will stay here if I want, but I don't consider that a realistic plan. There has to be some in between. Can we move back and forth? Alternate? I doubt it, that would make it impossible for either of us to do our jobs or have a real life.

"Kat?" Ashton calls through the door. I sigh and let my head flop back on the pillow.

"I can hear that you are awake. You do not have to speak to me if you do not want to. I did say I would leave you alone, but I need to warn you that I am going out and it will likely be uncomfortable for you. I need to go find the assassin who hurt you. I will be leaving Fin here to protect you." He says firmly. I want to cry and tell him not to go, especially not alone. But I also know that leaving Fin to protect me is the same as protecting himself now, so I can't exactly argue about that. Lucy starts to stir beside me, Ashton must have woken her.

"Fine." I answer quietly. I know he can hear me. He walks away and I stay put. The sooner he leaves the sooner he will come back and we can figure this all out. I'll let myself be a coward for now, just for today while he's gone. I'll take the time to relax and think and when he gets back I'll face him properly.

Lucy wakes up and groans as she realises that she needs to leave soon to get ready for work. Meanwhile I am already enjoying that super fun sense of dread that accompanies Ashton's absence. This cannot be healthy, although I suspect it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't literally out looking for an assassin. The thought makes me all panicky. I'm apparently not doing a very good job of hiding it because even though Lucy needs to leave, she's hesitating.

"I don't have to go to work today. Marcus could find someone to cover for me if you need me here." She offers. I refuse immediately.

"Thanks, but no. There's nothing you can do to fix this, and I need to think. To figure out what to do." I told Lucy everything that Ashton told me when she woke up, she was sympathetic. To Ashton too although she didn't say it outright, I can tell. Before she leaves, I can't help but ask her what I should do. She thinks before answering.

"You need to figure out what you want. Forget about what needs to be done, pretend this connection doesn't exist and isn't forcing the matter. Think about what it was like spending time with him, figure out what you actually want. Then find out what HE really wants. You might find that it all lines up better than you expected. You were happy before all this happened, in love. You were willing to figure out your problems then, so you can figure them out now. Your relationship with him was always going to include some difficulties Kat, you've always known that. You even warned me about the same thing. Talk to the guy and find out what he wants. You're worried that he wants to make all these sacrifices for you, but maybe he wants to make them, maybe there are some that you want to make for him. Just... Don't focus too much on the bad. There are good parts to this too. You got to visit the fae realm, look for other bright sides. It doesn't all have to be bad." Her advice leaves me kind of speechless. Lucy laughs at my shock.

"What? I can have good advice occasionally. I'm not completely oblivious, you know. Now. I'm leaving, but if you need me you call right away okay. I'll keep my phone on me. I dare Marcus to say anything about it." Her eyes are a challenge and I give a weak laugh.

"Okay, I'll walk you out."

We head towards the door. Lucy hesitates in front of the entry to the living room. Fin is sitting on the couch watching T.V. He's staring straight ahead at the screen, but he's very tense and clearly knows that she's here. She doesn't look at him when she speaks.

"I'm leaving Finvara. Take care of Kat for me." She orders, her tone is demanding, but not as cold as it was yesterday. I guess she appreciated him standing up for me too.

"I will." He promises and Lucy marches off and out of the house.