A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps by Kit Bryan

It takes about fifteen seconds for someone to knock on the door. I assume it's Ashton so I ignore it and bury my head under my pillows. "It's not Ashton." Lucy calls out. She knows me too well. I stumble to the door and let her in, immediately locking the door behind us.

"I told Marcus to go home. Too many cooks in the kitchen and all that. Now, do you want to cry, look for solutions, just talk about it or would you like me to try to distract you with something else?" She offers and I can't help but throw myself into her arms. For such an exuberant and overwhelming person, she knows when to stop and find out what other people need. Lucy strokes my hair while I cry and after my tears stop I find myself lying with my head in her lap. I sniffle and sit up.

"I... I think I want to talk about it. To try and figure out how I'm feeling." I tell her weakly and she nods.

"Alright. Be careful of the fae ears. Fin is in the living room, Ashton is in the spare room, hiding from your dad I think." She warns me. I nod.

"I know. We can talk quietly." I lower my voice to the barest hint of a whisper. Lucy and I adjust so that we're sitting next to each other with my head on her shoulder. Close enough that we barely even have to whisper to hear the other person. "What's bothering you most? The first thing on your mind." Lucy prompts me to start.

"I... I thought I was in love with him, am in love with him. I... Now I don't know." I admit. Lucy doesn't judge me. All she does is ask simple questions.

"Have your feelings changed?" She asks. I give a half shrug.

"No. But I don't know if they're real. Do I want him, or is it just this connection between us? Do I want to be near him or is it that piece of him that wants to return to where it belongs?" I whisper brokenly. Lucy considers. "When did you start to fall for him?" She prompts. I answer immediately.

"From the beginning. That first night that we met. He was so... Open and friendly. So curious and he didn't treat me like a child who needed protecting." I struggle to find the words.

"Plus he's hot." Lucy adds with a slight tease that has me choking out a laugh.

"That too." I agree.

"If you liked him from the beginning, why would you think your feelings aren't real now? Are you upset that he created this connection between you? Is that the problem?" She asks. I frown. "Well... No. That wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to do it. He was saving my life." I insist.

"Then what's changed?" She asks.

"He... He kept it from me. But it's not that. I can forgive that. I just don't know what's real anymore. If my feelings are real that's even worse because it means I've fallen for someone who doesn't care about me. Or at least doesn't care as much as I do." I want to cry again but I hold back the tears. I can't keep crying forever and my head already hurts.

"He cared enough to save you." Lucy responds, not even asking a question this time. She's daring me to argue. I'm not going to disappoint her.

"That doesn't mean anything. He promised to protect me to the best of his abilities. Fae don't lie, he would never break that promise. He might be fond of me, but he saved me because he had to, for the sake of his own honour." I insist. I told him I love him and he didn't say it back. He might have been interested in me before, but he didn't REALLY want me until this whole connection thing happened. He is probably just trying to make the best of it. Plus if it's making him feel anything like I do, he's drawn to me now, whether he wants to be or not.

"I hate to disagree with you, but I think you're wrong. I think he does love you, or at very least is well on his way to loving you. He and I get along, but he's so different with you. Don't go giving up just yet." She tries to comfort me and I nod along like I believe her but I just can't quite believe it. I thought that everything was going well, better than I could have hoped. I thought that Ashton was choosing me. Now I'm not sure if that was ever really the case, and even worse I'm not sure if I have a choice anymore either.

It's late. I don't know how late because my phone is still in the living room on the coffee table where I left it earlier. Lucy has been asleep for a while now. She tried to stay awake with me but despite her best efforts, she eventually caved and let her eyes fall closed. I never bothered turning the lamp off so the room is still dimly lit. The rest of the house is quiet too. I'm assuming that dad helped Fin sort out a place to sleep in the living room. He might be grumpy but he's not a bad host. Plus he likes Fin. Actually, Fin surprised me today when he took my side over Ashton's. He's always been perfectly dedicated to his friend. I might have to rethink my decision to not help him with Lucy. He might be more of a friend to me than I originally thought. Ugh I feel crappy. My eyes are sore from crying and my chest and throat hurt from all the sobbing. I hate crying. Damn you Ashton for making me cry like this. I thought my doubts about him before were all because of that fae poison, now I'm starting to think I was right the first time. Just because the poison was making me paranoid, it doesn't mean I was wrong. I contemplate leaving my room to get a glass of water. I don't want to face anyone, but I need a drink. Besides, everyone is asleep anyway. I'll just get a drink and come straight back to my room.

I climb out of bed, careful not to wake Lucy, although I doubt I have to worry, she's such a heavy sleeper I would probably need a foghorn or something to manage it. I crack my bedroom door open and glance down the hallway. No one is in sight and all the lights in the house are turned off. Perfect. I creep into the kitchen as quietly as I can and fill a glass with water. I'm just about to sip when I sense Ashton behind me about half a second before he says my name. "Kat." He says softly. I flinch and the glass slips from my hand. In a flash of magically fueled movement, Ashton catches the glass and places it on the counter. I step around him and head for the door.

"I don't want to talk right now." I say in a rush to get out of here. Damnit, I should have stayed in my room and just dealt with being thirsty. I haven't figured out my own feelings yet, I'm not ready to deal with someone else's. "Kat, please." Ashton pleads, trailing behind me. When did he start calling me Kat? Ashton always called me Katerina right up until... Until after he created this connection. That's yet another piece of proof that this changed something between us.

"I know we need to talk eventually. But I'm not ready right now Ashton. Leave me alone." I hiss the words in a harsh whisper. I probably sound angry. I AM angry. But mostly I think I'm angry at myself for letting my feelings get so out of control.

"I will, I promise. It is just... I should have been honest earlier. There is more you should know. You do not have to listen now, but I do not want you to think I am keeping anything further from you. If you want to know, I will tell you everything." He offers. I stop in place. There's more to all of this? How much more? Do I even want to know? Will I be able to sleep if I don't ask? I slowly turn to face Ashton. I feel trapped even though he isn't stopping me from leaving. He should have a chance to explain himself and I'm already upset. Why wait until I've calmed down just so he can upset me again.

"Fine. Explain."