Wild West of the Heart

When you're young, you feel that everything's permanent. You feel that you're invincible, not essentially the superpower kind of invincible, but the kind that makes you think there's time. There's tomorrow.

And there's all your life to make plans. All your life which could mean many more years. It's why we procrastinate, because there's time. Isn't there?

And we don't make backup plans. We don't prepare for the worst of times and the terrible events that could very much happen. The disaster. The fact that the chances of them happening are low, doesn't rule out the possibility that they could. Terrible things like financial crisis, and being raped twice.

And alas, death.

You feel like you're invincible to these things until they actually happen. What then, will be left to savor? And why would you even want to? It's the thing about being young, you think it'll last forever.

That the way it is now, is how it'll always be. Bless you if your life's going good. Youthful. You think you have time, but you don't. Life might just come to snatch that rug from beneath you. And remind you, that there's nothing like forever.

-

"On the first of October, in 1960, Nigeria gained independence from the British. Today, being exactly forty one years later, we look back at the history of this state we've grown to so treasure_"

Akin's eyes remained fixed on the reporter's thin lips. He was engrossed in the television on what was seemingly a very calm day. It usually was his escape from reality. From the overwhelming thoughts of his crippling financial status. "In 1953, a man Anthony Enahor became the first to move the motion for Nigeria's independence which was eventually granted, a wikipedia article says. And after, Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa became the prime minister from 1960-1966-" The volume died down as Mary walked into the parlor in an apron. Akin was whisked out of his oblivion as he looked to her. "Still watching this" She remarked, not that she was surprised. Of course he loved watching this program every year on AIT and he certainly wasn't the only one.

It was a public holiday for all, and several other fathers were sat in front of the tv by this time, few minutes to the afternoon news.

Overall, it was a good day.

One that was sprung from chaos years ago, people actually spent most of it indoors now, leaving the roads free from traffic and quiet. The sun was out, hotter than usual and most places had the signature green white green flags erected on them.

It was patriotic to honor a day like this. And with everyone going about their thing-

what could possibly wrong?

"Would you like to eat now?" Mary asked, and his gaze fell on the ticking clock whose long hand was just about to strike noon. He sucked his lips, as if making a hiss sound and then he nodded.

"Sure why not" He replied, and she dusted off her skirt. Even she had a green skirt on for the occasion and as she walked back, the volume rose back up.

She entered the kitchen, pulling the whistling kettle off the stove. And then rushing to watch her stew that was burning on the fire. She cussed under her breath, at how much work she had to do. And with no little help. "Olamide" She yelled from there.

"Olamide" There was a crack in her voice.

Ola couldn't hear her, the thing is even if he did, he was still most likely to ignore her. But he didn't. He had headphones across his head, listening to Psquare. His own concentration however, was at his reflection in the mirror before him. His hands plucked at the skin around his stomach as he let out a groan. There was progress with his v line but it was sort of diminishing. And no matter how much exercise he did all through that morning, he just couldn't shake off that feeling. That feeling that he was fat, especially when his mother's voice still rang in his ears from last night.

"You're putting on some weight, Ola"

It was a statement that meant nothing to her, and some might even take as a compliment. But not Ola. Instead it caused him to worry more, maybe because most of him knew that it was true.

He pulled off his shirt, admiring his biceps which was stiff. The only good thing now. It was a fact that he idolized his body and that was because he wasn't always like this.

When he was six, he used to eat anything and everything that came his way. Mary never allowed him near junk food, so she fed him twice as much with swallow, and soup. And rice, and a terrific portion of beans. It was what he'd grown up accustomed to. But then there was Obi, who had access to all the junkfood in the world.

Mira wouldn't have time to make a traditional breakfast or lunch for him, because truth be told, she was often tired from the previous night in the club. So the closest he got was sandwich and cash.

Lots of cash to buy whatever he wanted. Sweets, cake, pastries like doughnuts and puffpuff. There were biscuits, the cream filled ones and the chocolate ones. He had lots of it, and when Ola tasted it from him the first time, he fell in love. He'd hide from his mother while Obi fed him with all the junkfood and when he returned home, he'd still eat her rice and beans. And swallow. It was no surprise for him when he gained a few pounds over the summer break in 1989. The thing is, he knew he was getting fat, but he couldn't stop himself.

Until he was overweight and diagnosed with a heart thing. It was when Mary began to worry, and then he had these pills for his heart. Lots of them, but he still ate. And ate and ate. It wasn't until school had resumed and everyone had seen the massive change in his body, that he decided to stop. After constant bullying and name calling and body shaming, he had lots of friends before but he soon began to lose them, except Obi who also had gained some weight. Children are terrible, and he learned that hard way through all the bullying. Truth was, you were either getting bullied or you were a bully then. And he knew then, he and Obi had to stop enabling themselves. He went from the boy that loved food, to the boy that didn't eat at all.

Then, they had a dog, and he'd hide from Mary to feed all his food to her. The dog kept getting fatter while he kept getting thinner. But it was gradual, and slow and mentally draining for a boy his age.

He'd have gum and water in a day. And whenever he ate some food because Mary was there, he'd force himself to throw it all up after. When he was seven however, he was diagnosed with an eating disorder and bulimia, not that he even knew what those meant. And he had more pills for those.

Now Mary knew more than ever, that she had to have eyes on him. And she'd force him to eat more and more. Less for himself, and more for her.

Because she couldn't lose him, not when he was her only son. The weight he lost, he soon began to gain again and that was the sequence till he eventually left for Texas. He was a smart kid, and that's why he got a scholarship there with the help of his uncle James, who swore to take good care of him.

Akin was free to let him go, it was Mary that was sort of reluctant. But she didn't have a say, she was woman then. She remembered the day she bottled up his million pills and had an hour long conversation with James on all the things her son had and how very delicate he was.

James promised to do his best, and it was exactly what he did. But the thing about this world was that it wasn't kind, and he couldn't do much about that.

And Ola was thrown into that much chaos when he arrived in the new place. He constantly got bullied for things like his acne, or stature and size. His meds but he never thought his skin color would be one of those many things. He was often left out and had time fitting in because he was a tad bit darker.

Some of the mean kids would pick on him for being different and one even went as far as calling him slurs and derogatory words. Everyone of them have had their fair share of trauma but Ola might have had it worse, it was how his anxieties started.

He hated being around his peers and then people because of the way they made him feel. And he hid all of these from James who'd swore to protect him.

As he grew under each bladed vice, it sort of sharpened him into the man he was today. He started working out at ten, tried to be a bit lighter but that was all a phase. He'd lost his weight and gained muscles. His heart condition left and he had to let go of his several pills.

However, his anxiety never did.

He had such a hard time growing up, and it was why he shut off the world in Texas, only allowing two people to get as close. Brunette haired Sarah, and blue eyed Williams. And with the fences around him, no one could tell he was just as soft at heart.

His body might have changed, but that, never did.

His door suddenly opened, wedging against his feet and he was pulled out from his thoughts. He let go off his headphones as his eyes met his mother's.

"I've been calling you" She said, her words between her breathes. "I'm sorry" Ola said, backing away and she sighed. "Don't block your two ears"

"Just come and give your dad his food" She urged, as she turned back around. And tossing the device unto his bed, he righteously followed her behind. To be continued...