Chapter 134 Only When You Truly Care Do You Feel Fear
I found Oliver sprawled out on the ground in just a thin shirt. In this freezing weather, he's definitely gonna get sick sleeping like that.
I shook him awake. He groggily opened his eyes and got up. His hair was a total mess, and his bruised face looked worse than a homeless guy's.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.
He scratched his head, making his messy hair even worse.
"I wanted to find Ethan for a drink. But when I got to the door, I thought it was too late. I'm single and can be reckless, but he's got a wife. He can't be like me. Besides, his stomach's not great. And you definitely wouldn't let him drink, so I just finished all this beer here," Oliver pointed to the empty beer cans and said, looking all defeated.
I knew he was hurting because of Bella, and I didn't know what to say.
"Where's Bella? Tell me." Oliver suddenly looked up, staring at me with hopeful eyes.
But I hadn't heard from Bella for two days, so I just shook my head.
Oliver's head drooped again. He picked up an empty beer can, crushed it, and looked totally miserable.
"I've searched everywhere she might be, but I can't find her. Her phone's off. She's determined not to see me."
Seeing Oliver like this made me feel uncomfortable too.
I still remembered clearly the scene when he proposed. They looked so happy back then. But I didn't expect things to go south so fast.
"Can't live without a woman, huh? Look at you." Ethan's voice came from behind me.
I stepped aside, and Ethan walked out the door, standing next to Oliver.
Oliver, sitting on the ground, looked up at him and saw the injury on his head.
"How'd you get hurt? Did you two fight?"
We exchanged a glance and stayed silent.
Oliver looked between us for a moment, then suddenly gave a bitter smile.
"Emily isn't Bella. How could she fight with you? You're so happy now, so it's easy for you to judge me. I wish Bella would come back and fight with me."
I couldn't stand seeing him like this, so I suggested calling Bella to ask.
Hearing this, Oliver's eyes lit up with hope, looking at me expectantly.
But the result still disappointed him. Bella's phone was off.
Actually, I wondered if Bella might be with Zachary. But I didn't dare say it out loud. If that were the case, I didn't know what Oliver might do. Oliver just sat at our door. I made breakfast and called him to eat, but he wouldn't. In the end, Ethan dragged him to the car and took him away.
Not long after they left, my phone buzzed. It was an unknown number.
"Emily, it's me."
Recognizing Bella's voice, I perked up. "Bella, did you change your number?"
She replied, "No, this is Zachary's phone."
I guessed right; she was really with Zachary.
But in just a few days, how far had they gone? I didn't even want to think about it.
"Emily, can you find a locksmith for me, quick?"
She sounded urgent. I asked what she needed it for, but she didn't say, just gave me an address and hung up.
She gave me Leonard's address.
I had no clue what she was up to, but I didn't want to waste time. I quickly got ready and left, finding a locksmith's number on a wall with those small ads.
At Leonard's building, I met the locksmith, and we took the elevator up together.
Bella was waiting at the elevator door. She led us straight to Leonard's study and pointed to a drawer for the locksmith to open.
Leonard ran a company, so I figured there must be a lot of important documents in this study.
I anxiously tugged at her. "Bella, what are you doing?"
She didn't answer; she just watched the locksmith pick the lock.
When the drawer opened, Bella didn't find what she was looking for. She pointed to other locked cabinets and drawers in the room and had the locksmith open them one by one. When Leonard came back, he'd definitely think the house had been robbed.
"Found it." Bella pulled out a personal file from a drawer.
I could totally guess what she was going to do.
Bella paid the locksmith, then took the personal file and dragged me out the door.
As she pulled me along, I hurriedly asked, "Bella, are you planning to get married? To who? Oliver or Zachary?"
Bella stopped, looked back at me, and suddenly smiled.
"Of course, it's with my Zachary. Emily, shouldn't you be congratulating me right now?"
I didn't expect Bella's impulsiveness to last this long. I couldn't say for sure that being with Zachary was a mistake, but I felt she hadn't thought it through.
When I wanted to say more, she had already shoved me into the car.
The driver was Zachary.
So, I didn't have a chance to say anything else. And I knew very well that when Bella was stubborn, I couldn't persuade her.
The car quickly stopped at the county clerk's office.
"Are you really sure?" Zachary turned around and asked Bella.
Bella clutched the personal documents tightly and glanced at the entrance of the county clerk's office.
A couple was coming out with a brand-new marriage license, both of them grinning like they just won the lottery.
"Let's eat first. I'm starving," Bella said calmly.
In Bella's calm eyes, I actually saw a hint of hesitation.
Zachary nodded and drove straight to his place.
I had been here once before, the last time I was dragged here by Zachary's goons.
Zachary said he would go buy groceries and told us to go inside.
A few people were playing cards around a small table in the yard when they saw us. They all greeted Bella.
Bella ignored them and led me inside.
Although Zachary's house was pretty basic, the interior decoration and furniture were quite nice.
There were all kinds of fruit on the coffee table in the living room. Bella told me to help myself, and then she sat on the sofa and turned on the TV.
Bella was wearing a short, off-white down jacket today. The thick jacket made her face look even thinner.
Maybe she had really lost weight these past few days, and her face was very pale a sickly kind of pale. While Zachary was not around, I prepared to talk with her.
"Bella, have you really thought this through? Oliver..."
"Can you not mention him?"
She cut me off as soon as I started.
After a while, Bella looked at the TV and spoke, "Emily, you know me. I used to be very timid when it came to relationships, always afraid to take that step, afraid to love. After going through it once, I feel like I'm brave enough now, no longer feeling cautious. Do you think it's because I've been hurt so deeply that I'm not afraid of getting hurt again?"
I knew Bella was truly heartbroken this time.
I thought for a moment and said, "Do you think I've been hurt deeply? But I'm still afraid of getting hurt."
Bella leaned back into the sofa and turned her head to look at me.
"You only fear when you have true feelings. The reason you're afraid now is because you fell in love with Ethan."
I really did have feelings for Ethan. I'd confirmed it in my heart so many times, there was no denying it.
So, she meant that she didn't really fancy Zachary.
"Bella, calm down. I still think you're being too impulsive with Zachary."
Bella shook her head and smiled faintly.
"Not really. I've come to understand that a woman's marriage is a gamble. My mom lost her gamble with my dad. Andrea, that bitch, thought she won, but years later, it turned out she lost too. You lost your gamble with Arthur, but you won with Ethan. Emily, as it stands, you're the big winner."
I didn't feel like I had won with Ethan. If my marriage with him was a gamble, then it had just begun, and the outcome was still up in the air.
Before long, Zachary came back, lugging a big bag of snacks.
He plopped the bag on the coffee table and said, "I didn't know what you liked, so I just grabbed a bunch of stuff. Next time, tell me what you want, and I'll get it for you."
Bella nodded and dumped all the snacks out of the bag. There were indeed a ton of different kinds.
When we sat down to eat, the table was loaded with dishes. I remembered that the last time I was here, Zachary had also cooked.
Many seemingly unreliable guys were actually good at cooking, and I believed that.
Zachary's friends were being loud, and Bella, annoyed, said, "You're so loud."
Zachary immediately kicked them out.
They didn't dare to object and left with smiles, saying, "Enjoy your meal."
After we finished eating, Bella started gathering the dishes, but Zachary took them from her.
He held Bella's hand, looked at it, and smiled faintly. "A woman's hands are so beautiful, they should rest. The work is for men."
For now, it seemed Zachary was genuinely good to Bella. As Bella herself said, marriage was a gamble. Maybe she would indeed find happiness with him.
I no longer trusted my judgment of people. My marriage with Arthur had already proven that my judgment was extremely poor.
The day after Ethan's bandage was removed, he went on a business trip.
I read, cooked, ate, watched TV, and went to bed alone. Everything felt empty without him, and so did my heart.
That night, I was sitting in the living room, bored, watching TV.
When the show ended and the commercials started, I picked up the remote to change the channel. I accidentally switched to a channel broadcasting a launch event for a new TV series. My eyes were glued to the screen because I saw Faye.
Faye, tall and elegantly dressed with exquisite makeup, stood out in the middle of a row of actors.
I figured this must be the show Ethan got her the contract for. With Faye as the lead actress, she was obviously a big deal.
After a brief introduction by the producer, the media Q&A session began, and the camera panned to the audience.
Honestly, I didn't care if Faye would achieve her dream of becoming a star or if she would become famous because of this show. I picked up the remote to change the channel but froze. I saw Ethan in the audience.