Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)

“Earth to Halo,” Than’s voice said as he snapped a finger in front of my face.

Blinking, I shook my head and stared at him.

“You were checked out pretty hard there, little momma,” he teased.

I had no idea how many times he’d called my name. He was right; I had been lost in the dream I’d had last night.

Four days in a row now, I had woken up, looking around for the arms that had been around me. My dreams were getting more intense. The guy—oh, who was I kidding? I knew who the dream guy was. Bane was touching me and kissing me a little more every night.

Last night, I’d dreamed he pressed his lips to mine and then ran the tip of his tongue along them with a low groan. I felt his erection and rubbed against it, but my dream Bane stopped me by placing a hand on my hip.

He had whispered, “No, no, sweet girl. Don’t do that to me.”

God, just thinking about it had me aching between my legs. Part of me wanted to find a way to make the dreams stop while another part of me wanted to sleep forever so I didn’t have to give him up. Dream Bane made a host of things I had never experienced come to life inside me.

“You not gonna tell me?” Than asked, and I realized I’d let myself drift off to my dream again.

“Sorry. It was nothing. Just me thinking about some things I read in the prenatal book I have.” That wasn’t a complete lie.

I had gone back and reread what it said about vivid sexual dreams. I found myself hoping the dreams would get more explicit but feared I’d never be able to look Bane in the eyes again if they did.

“Is the information helpful, or is it shit that freaks you out?” he asked.

“Helpful,” I replied. “That’s why I asked about the treadmill. It says cardio is good for pregnancy, and I wanted something more to do than just swimming.”

Than pulled inside the garage and glanced over at me. “You go get changed, and I’ll give you a lesson on working the treadmill. Anything else in there you can use?”

I laughed. “Other than the weight bench, which I can’t use, I have no idea what all that stuff is.”

“What about a row machine? Is that safe?”

I shrugged. “No idea. I’ll ask Dr. Stella at my next appointment.”

He opened his door. “Everything else has weights involved, so we will stick with the treadmill only until then.”

I climbed out of the Range Rover and followed him toward the garage entrance into the house.

Going to the distillery every day had continued this week, and I was thankful for that. It helped with all the many thoughts that plagued me. Something to focus on besides the bad was good. We were later than normal in coming home today because they’d had a catered employee lunch and Ransom invited me to stay. It had made me feel included, and I appreciated it.

The moment the door opened, I could hear the thud of the punching bag.

Than cut his eyes at me. “Bane must be back at it. He’s already got the best pecs and abs. If he keeps this up, he’s gonna take Locke’s biggest biceps title from him.”

The closer we got to the weight room, the more my stomach fluttered. I’d never seen him hitting the bag, although he had seemed to be doing it a lot lately. I prepared my whacked-out hormones with a steady breath before we entered the room. As if my eyes couldn’t search him out fast enough, they immediately locked on Bane. He was soaked with sweat, and there was a fierce expression on his face that sent all the things inside me stirring in a crazed tizzy.

Look away, Halo. Look away. That will make you have more dreams. Look away.

He paused, putting his gloved hand on the bag to stop it as his eyes went from Than to me, then back to Than instantly. That stung, but it shouldn’t have. I had no other reason but my insane dreams to expect him to acknowledge me. I didn’t think we’d even spoken yesterday. That was a lie. I knew we hadn’t spoken yesterday.

“You’re late. She needs to eat,” Bane told him tightly.

Than glanced back at me. “We ate with the staff. Ransom had Kips cater it. She’s had plenty.”

There was a small tic in Bane’s jaw. “Barbecue isn’t exactly a balanced diet. She has a meal in the kitchen with all the things she needs.”

Than sighed heavily. “She had a salad and grilled chicken. Chill, dude.”

Bane’s nostrils flared, and he pulled the boxing gloves off his hands. “I let you take her there. Don’t bring her back late again,” he said, then stalked out of the room.

Than shook his head. “Controlling bastard,” he muttered.

I’d upset him. But it was Bane. He got angry easily. I had known this already, but my stomach still sank. I didn’t like disappointing him.

I wondered if there was a pregnant medication for these reactions I was having to him. Anything to make it stop.

Walking from the gym back to the great room, I felt refreshed from the three miles I’d walked briskly while listening to the playlist that Than had shown me I could choose from on the speaker system. Glancing out the windows, I paused, seeing Bane’s profile. He was mostly hidden from view from where I stood. A cigar was in his mouth. No one had been here when I went to get on the treadmill. Late afternoons, they never were. I was getting used to being here alone at this time every day.

I wondered if I should go apologize for yesterday, for not eating lunch here, since I hadn’t seen him after he stalked out of the gym. I reached for the handle, then faltered.

He took the cigar from his mouth, and his head fell back as he bared his teeth. The veins in his neck stood out, and his body rocked slightly forward.

What was he doing?

I couldn’t move to go out there, yet I couldn’t walk away either. He said something, and then his muscular shoulders moved as he dropped his gaze, looking down. I took a few more steps, trying to get past the shrubs that were blocking the rest of him. His head was back again, and I heard him shout a curse, but the look on his face wasn’t pained. It was pleasure. Just when I was almost to where I could see what he was doing, he turned his head, and I froze as his eyes held me. From here, I could tell from the way his chest rose and fell that he was breathing heavily as he stared at me.

The blonde who stood up in front of him was the slap in the face to snap me out of my trance. He turned his attention back to the woman, who had been on her knees with his cock in her mouth, no doubt. No wonder he had looked like he was enjoying what was happening.

Tearing my eyes off the two of them, I hurried away, wanting to get to the safety of my room. I had just watched Bane get a blow job. As if our relationship hadn’t been strained enough. Once again, I was blaming my pregnancy on the fact that my panties were damp. Seemed they had been getting that way a lot lately. Always after thinking about the Bane in my dreams. Now, I had the image of his face while he orgasmed to make my imagination even more out of control.

Why was it Bane that I had been dream-fantasizing about? There were four other men in this house.

I took the stairs more aggressively than required, then went into my room and closed the door. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I jerked off my sports bra, then started pushing down my leggings. I would take a nice, long shower, and I’d feel better. Calmer.

But would the ache between my legs go away? I never seemed to get any relief. A tight ball of need would build, and then I’d be stuck with it, making even the clothes on my body a gentle tease, keeping me right there on the edge of unsatisfied.

I looked over at the twin bed. Then, without thinking about it, I went over and lay down on my back. I bent my knees and then let my legs fall open. Sucking in a breath, I slid my hand inside the front of my panties until they met the dampness that thoughts of Bane had created.

“Oh,” I breathed.

I’d never done this. I had always shared a bedroom with a sibling. This hadn’t been something I could do.

Moving a finger deeper inside, I realized my mistake. I’d been missing out.

“OH.” Another moan came out, louder, and I shifted further down, then used two fingers to rub the wetness back and forth.

This was helping. I closed my eyes, letting my imagination take over.

Maybe I would make it through this weird stage of pregnancy. When I started waking up, unfulfilled, in the morning, I could do this and make it all feel better before I went downstairs and faced everyone.

I cried out as my orgasm finally came, and I wanted to weep in relief.