The Last Option

Almost seven months later and almost fully recovered, Bernard was preparing to carry out the mission to find the Hicks killer. Now that he had Anthony's help, he could feel more confident and sure he could do what was necessary to locate him. He knew it would not be easy to find him, but he would put all his effort into it.

Things at Southern Hilltop Gold had also changed; without the obstacle of Robert Ickovitch at the shareholders' meeting, Louis Randall rose to the presidency of the company without problems and now he could consider himself the owner of everything.

Rebecca Hicks returned to her usual life of expense and eccentricity, and now she had a new lover in a new city in Europe.

For their part, Thomas and Laura continued to help with little Nathan's care, taking care of him while Bernard slowly got back in shape in the small gym he had set up in the apartment. Camila's visits became more and more frequent and she also supported Bernard in whatever he needed, unknowingly moved by the birth of a kind of maternal instinct, and also because she was feeling more and more attracted to him every day, whom he followed disturbing her presence and feeling uneasily enraptured by her unique beauty.

Seeing her dedication to the baby, Bernard thought she would be the one to take care of him in case something happened to him while looking for the Hicks' killer, and so he wanted to let her know one afternoon in Central Park, when little Nathan was being walked in his stroller and they chatted animatedly about many things.

"I need us to talk about something else," he told her as they sat on one of the benches.

"What is going on?"

"In the next few days I'll travel to Arkansas with my father-in-law, well, ex-father-in-law, and I'll need you to take care of little Nathan." "Why don't you take him with you? What are you going to do?"

"I need to do a couple of things there, and the baby would only get in the way. Don't worry, you will have the help of Thomas and Laura."

She eyed him suspiciously, thinking he might want to abandon the baby. Interestingly, he thought that when he saw her expression and quickly cut her off.

"It's not what you are thinking. If I wanted to do that I would not have recognized little Nathan as my son and would have left him in the hands of Child Services. I'm willing to give everything for him, too bad Phil hasn't yet found an alternative to return everything that belongs to him."

"I thought you were sorry you took care of him," Camila said, taking little Nathan out of the stroller to pick him up and give him his bottle, which was already his turn. "I wouldn't have forgiven you for that."

"Don't worry, I'll only be gone for a few days, I'll be back soon. Anthony and I have some family business to sort out over there. I just want you to take care of him as before and help Thomas and Laura."

At that moment an old woman with short gray hair who was walking a little dog whose breed was indistinguishable, perhaps a mongrel, stood in front of them watching the baby take his bottle and smiling at them. "Look how cute!" she said, moving a little closer to get a better look. "You have a beautiful baby! Congratulations."

"He doesn't-"

"Thanks!" Camila exclaimed with a smile and getting ahead of Bernard, who was going to make it clear to the old woman he wasn't their son.

The old lady said a few more compliments and then went on her way. Camila turned her attention back to the bottle and the baby, while Bernard looked at them for the first time as a family. He'd had a few thoughts with the baby in the future if he could not get him back to his rightful family, but now she was joining him as a potential mother and, who knows, wife.

He shuddered a little at the thought of her that way, and then he felt a little sadness again, for he also thought of Margaret, who was not with him now. Out of respect for the love he had felt and still felt for her, he had not even considered the idea of having another partner, but now Camila was there with the baby giving him precisely that idea and that moved his world, making his soul now too debated between accepting it or rejecting it. Was he betraying Margaret's memory by thinking like this, only seven months after her departure?

"Why did you tell her that?" he asked softly, perhaps hoping she would give him some reason to agree to think of her and no longer think of Margaret.

"It just occurred to me," she said instead, suspecting his intentions with that question, and pretending not to care. "I didn't want to pass off this cutie as an orphan."

"Sure?" he insisted. "There's nothing else?"

She turned to look at him and in their eyes they could both see they were thinking the same thing. She had been feeling in love with him for a long time, but out of respect for her recent loss she had not wanted to show him that, hiding it as much as she could and feeling more and more trapped between them, between him and the baby.

"I don't think we should," she said dumbly, turning back to the baby.

"Okay," he also said awkwardly. "For a moment I thought you didn't have a boyfriend."

"That idiot?" she hastened to say, making a snort. "We broke up a long time ago..."

"Really?" Bernard said almost enthusiastically, but then he lowered his eyes, feeling rueful again. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. It must have been difficult for you."

"Not so much, we had little time dating."

Little Nathan finished his bottle and Camila put him on her lap, at shoulder level, patting him on the back.

"But the separation still hurts," Bernard lowered his gaze and began to play nervously with his fingers. "No matter how long you have been together, sometimes the expectation of being alone keeps you awake at night, the thought that there will be no one else for you out there."

"I think disappointment hurts more, because you had high expectations for that person. Sometimes that is bad, since you shouldn't put your happiness in the hands of someone else."

"When you are already happy, the only expectation you have is to grow old with that person you love."

Camila heard in Bernard's voice the deep sadness that invaded him for the loss of his wife and she resisted the desire to hug him and comfort him, to tell him she was there for him and not precisely to feel pity, but to bring him back to life and happiness that perhaps was missing.

"Am I betraying the memory of my wife by thinking like this?"

"Think what?"

"About you."

Camila looked at the people around her for a few moments, thinking about what Bernard had just admitted to her, while he kept his head down and played with his hands. On the one hand she was happy that he confessed he was thinking of her, and on the other she was worried that the memory of his wife would not allow him to love someone else, especially her.

"The only thing you have to ask yourself," she said without looking at him, while the baby let out a loud belch, "is if your wife would have wanted you to continue feeling that way about her death, if she would have wanted you to move on. You are a young person with a long way to go, and I repeat what I said before: sometimes you make a mistake by putting your own happiness in the hands of others."

Bernard was silent thinking about those words, while she returned the baby to the stroller and prepared to continue on their way. Minutes later they left Central Park. When they reached the entrance to his building, and before she went on her way, Bernard thanked her for joining him that afternoon.

"You know it's my pleasure to help you with little Nathan," she told him, handing the baby into his arms.

A few more seconds of silence.

"I think I need a little more time," he said, looking into her eyes. They both knew what he meant. "I need to put my ideas and feelings in order. Okay?"

She nodded without saying anything, then kissed little Nathan on the forehead and him on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked her.

"Of course!" she answered, raising her voice as she walked away. "Won't you get rid of me so easily!" Bernard smiled.

"Did you hear that?" he told the baby as they entered the building and looked for the elevator. "Tomorrow we'll see her again. I can see from your face that you're excited about the idea." But little Nathan had long since fallen asleep again.