Proof (Targes Executive Protection Book 1)

JJ didn’t respond to my question though I wasn’t really expecting him to. It was the elephant in the room, after all.

I shifted so I was once again facing him. “Not exactly first date discussion material, is it?”

JJ smiled. “Maybe not, but we always have the awkward goodnight kiss to think about,” he answered.

I couldn’t help but smile back. This was why I’d needed JJ to be the one to talk to about everything going on with my family. Although I’d intended to wait to deal with all the questions and theories spinning in my mind, the truth was I’d needed to work through it with him. Not because he’d been the only surviving victim but because I needed him to determine if I’d overlooked anything. I hadn’t realized that I’d also needed him at my side to remind me that coping with crippling guilt wasn’t going to go away because someone urged you to forgive yourself. But JJ understood. He got it.

“Yes, I think he could have been behind it all,” I admitted. “I just can’t figure out the motive.”

JJ was quiet for a handful of seconds. “Renly told you your grandmother got sick four years ago, right? You would have still been deployed but your superiors would have been able to get word to you about her at some point, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah, but it could have taken time. If my father saw me as a threat to his plan to control everything that belonged to my grandmother, which was the entire family fortune as well as the controlling stake and seat on the board for Ashby Capital Group, he’d have had a reason for moving quickly.”

JJ looked skeptical. “If she was truly incompetent, he would have had no trouble proving that in court before you got back.”

“No, but there was still my grandfather’s missing will. It’s possible my father knew something was in there that made sure he got nothing. He and my grandfather had the same kind of relationship I had with my father. My grandfather treated me better than he did my father. If my grandmother knew what was in the will, it could have been the only thing protecting her and me all this time. If my father was certain she knew where it was, he might have been biding his time that in the hopes that, in her altered mental state, she’d reveal its location. If I’d been there, though, I could have sued for power of attorney and, given my relationship with her, I would have won. If that happened…”

“He would have lost not only his control over her but any chance at finding the will himself and destroying it. He would have lost everything,” JJ said before he hummed in thought. “Sully said the shooter was behind you. If that was true, then why not just shoot both of us? Why leave you alive?”

I shrugged because that was the part I was stuck on. Even if I’d been granted custody of my grandmother and her vast fortune and holdings, I would have only wanted enough money to adequately take care of her. I’d rejected my family’s wealth from the time I’d met Sully, JJ, and their father when I’d been fifteen. And killing me would have done exactly what my father likely wanted—to prevent me from getting control of everything with the Ashby name on it.

“Because he’s vindictive enough that he’d rather see me rotting in a prison cell for the rest of my life. The second they put me behind bars, I had no way of reaching out to my grandmother. The trust fund my grandmother had set aside for me was completely and mysteriously drained, so I had no way of hiring a competent attorney. If I had managed to get a lawyer like Asa Hutch on my side, my father still could have greased so many palms that four guilty verdicts would have been a guarantee.”

“That was when you thought I’d come to your rescue,” JJ murmured. “First when they put you behind bars and then afterwards at the trial.”

I turned over only to find him staring at the ceiling. I sighed and pulled his body against mine. “You’re right, it’s not so easy to let go of the guilt no matter how many people tell you to. I hope there comes a day when the forgiveness begins and every time it grows stronger, the guilt gets weaker.”

JJ nodded. He didn’t resist when I pulled him into my side until our bodies were touching from shoulders to toes. When I urged him to turn so we were facing each other, he did it without hesitation. I couldn’t resist brushing my lips over his cheek. As much as I would have liked to taste his sweet mouth again, I didn’t want to just sweep everything we’d fought so hard to achieve under the carpet and replace it with mind-numbing sex.

“So, JJ, tell me something about yourself that no one else knows,” I said with a grin.

It took a while before the tension left his expression and was replaced with the lightness I’d been longing to see.

“Haven’t I already told you two of those?” he asked lightly.

“Two? No,” I said with a shake of my head. “You told me about checking out books hoping you could find out more information about my Mustang because you were hero-worshipping me then and crushing hard on me now.”

JJ gave me a little shove. “I never said I had a crush on you now.”

I couldn’t help but cover his mouth with mine. He moaned into my mouth a split second before he began returning the kiss. His strong fingers wrapped around the back of my neck, and I loved it. It was a show of control that I would never would have allowed anyone to wield over me, except for the man in my arms. I trusted JJ so deeply that I knew without a doubt that he’d never hurt me. He’d never degrade or humiliate me. He’d never attempt to make me break until I was no longer myself.

I was forced to end the kiss when it began to toe over the line into the no coming back from zone. JJ and I were both breathing hard, but I remembered his last declaration before I’d kissed him. “So you’re not crushing on me now?”

“Asshole,” JJ grumbled. I suspected he was struggling with thwarted desire. My own body was demanding that I finish what I’d started, but one look at his tired face told me our first date needed to come to an end soon.

“That wasn’t our goodnight kiss,” I reminded him.

“Of course it wasn’t,” JJ responded. “Everyone knows the first date kiss doesn’t include tongue.”

I highly doubted that statement because no way was JJ getting away from me until I had another taste of him. A slow, long, deep taste that would have to hold me until the next one.

“Now, I believe I was saying I already told you two secrets about myself. The crush thing—from the past—and why I changed my name to JJ,” he declared.

The mere fact that he was allowing himself to refer to our true first date lifted a heavy weight from my mind. JJ might never remember the events of those few nights we’d had but was accepting them. That meant more to me than the actual memory of the night when he’d told me the story about his name for the first time.

“So it’s your turn,” JJ said. “I know about the butterflies so I’m just going to store that little tidbit away for the future,” he continued in a terrible imitation of a sinister voice that had me laughing so hard that he slapped my stomach. I probably would have continued laughing except he kept his hand where it was. That meant my aching cock was just inches from his fingers.

“Um,” was all I managed to get out because JJ decided it would be a good time to slide his hand up and down my abdomen, getting achingly close to the head of my cock that was just above of the waistband of my briefs and dripping pre-cum.

“Cass,” JJ prodded, his voice completely calm and even.

“Right, a secret,” I groaned as my dick grew painfully hard. Somehow, I managed to admit my second secret. “The first time I jerked myself off was while watching a certain lifeguard show with hot guys running around in red shorts and black Speedos.”

Thankfully, JJ’s hand disappeared from my abdomen, but only so he could try to stifle his laughter by turning his head away and pressing his mouth against his forearm. “How old were you?” he managed to choke out.

“Twelve,” I responded. “It was the last season, though. I actually cried because I didn’t have any way to get to the store to buy the first season on DVD. And it wasn’t like I could ask my grandmother to get them for me. There were so many seasons, it would have taken up most of my allowance and I would have had to find someplace to hide a gazillion DVDs that were more tits and ass than any kind of actual plot. Oh, and the abs. Can’t forget the abs on all those guys,” I said in what I could only admit was a dreamy way.

JJ’s attempt at stifling his mirth was a complete and total failure. I didn’t give a whit that he was laughing at me. The sound of it brought me a kind of joy I hadn’t felt since my final date with him before he was shot. “How long did it take you to find out it was in syndication before it even ended and there were like twenty channels running it every day?” JJ asked as the laughter subsided. His smile stayed, though.

I opened my mouth to answer his question but stopped when I played his words back in my head. “How did you know it was already in syndication before it ended, huh JJ?”

His cheek, neck, and upper chest began to turn red. He wetted his lips with his tongue, though I doubted he’d even realized he’d done it. My body sure as hell had noticed.

“I… might have… seen… an episode,” JJ sputtered. “Or two,” he added as he tried to contain his laughter. I wanted to tell him the sound was music to my ears, but I held my tongue. When he calmed down enough to speak, his eyes linked with mine and he pouted like a pro before saying, “I’m sorry. Come here, my gorgeous hunk of man. Let JJ make it all better.” He opened his arms wide.

I knew something was up but happily took the bait. The second I had my arms wrapped around him, I felt fingers skittering along my sides and under my arms. My body jerked and immediately sought to escape the annoying sensation. When I rolled onto my back, JJ followed until he was straddling me. “Look, you are ticklish!”

JJ kept up the torture for several more seconds before he gave me a break. “Another thing I now know about you that no one else does,” he said triumphantly.

We were both panting from the skirmish, but we were also very aware of our positions.

Very.

His ass was lightly brushing my already painfully hard cock as he continued to straddle me. At some point I’d put my hands on JJ’s hips and his hands were covering mine. We remained locked in that position as we stared at each other. I could both see and feel his erection as it strained the material of his briefs.

“Cass?” JJ whispered.

“Yeah?” I grated out because he had settled more of his weight on me, and he was beginning to rock his hips back and forth.

JJ closed his eyes. He took one of my hands from his hips and began sliding it across his abdomen, chest, and throat. His skin was exquisite. He had next to no hair on his chest, but there was no missing the treasure trail that began at his belly button and traveled straight down until the waistband of his briefs hid the rest of it from me. I wondered what it would feel like to press my nose against the wiry hair at his groin when he pushed his thick dick into my mouth and down my throat.

JJ’s rocking intensified and I couldn’t stop the moan of pleasure that escaped my lips.

“What… what happens on the second date?” JJ bit out before he opened his eyes and lowered them so he could look at mine. I was certain the lust I saw there mirrored my own.

“Whatever we want,” I managed to say. It wasn’t the response I should have given him, but it was what I’d wanted to say. We’d both agreed to limit the evening’s sexual activity to a kiss, but I doubted either of us cared about that anymore.

JJ stopped the rocking motion. I nearly ordered him to keep going. Well, maybe not order, but there was definitely going to be some begging. He bent at the waist until his upper body was just above mine. He braced his hands on each side of my head and held my gaze. “What do you want, Cass?” he asked softly.

I reached my hands up to cup his face and kissed him hard. “You,” I breathed against his mouth. “All I’ll ever want is you.”

I was rewarded with a deep, hungry kiss. It got even better when he settled his ass back on my groin and began rocking back and forth again. There was no rhythm in it, so I knew JJ was playing with me. Every time he ground his ass against my dick and pumped his hips several times in a row, my need for release would grow. When I was close to the top and needed only one more slide of his firm globes over my weeping dick, he’d stop and pause long enough for the coil inside of me to loosen just enough to keep me near the edge.

“Cass,” JJ called softly. I hadn’t even realized I’d closed my eyes until he spoke my name. His face was just inches from mine. I tried to reach up to capture his lips but at some point, he had pinned my arms to the bed and was holding my wrists in his hands. I could have easily broken his hold, and he would have let me go if I’d asked him, but I had no interest in escaping. There was no fear either. I might have technically been trapped but there was no instinct to escape the sensual prison JJ was creating around me.

Us.

Around us.

“Yeah?” I somehow managed to say.

“I want you inside me,” he said, his voice husky and needy. I opened my mouth to respond in kind, but he silenced me with a searing kiss. “I want you inside me so much, but we need to talk about some… stuff.” The word caused my JJ to disappear in a cloud of smoke, only to be replaced by insecure JJ.

I knew what he meant by “stuff,” but I didn’t let that stop me from saying, “I want that too.”

“I can stop now⁠—”

“If you leave me in this state, I can guarantee I’m going to drag you into that shower, pin your hands above your head, and jerk myself off while you watch. I might even shoot my load on certain parts of you”—I pointedly looked down at his cock—“but you won’t feel it because the water will wash it away before⁠—”

JJ silenced me with a hard kiss. He sat up again and began slowly rocking back and forth over my dick. The friction had me seeing stars. I had my eyes closed again, so I didn’t see what he did next, but I sure as hell felt it when his bare ass slid over the head of my dick. JJ had pulled his underwear down enough to expose not only his ass, but his own hard-on as well.

“Fuck,” I growled. There was no way I could reach for my own underwear and draw it down without unseating him.

“Did you need something, Cass?” JJ asked, his eyes glazed over with lust. I could feel his pre-cum sliding over my abdomen every time his dick came into contact with my skin.

“JJ—” I said harshly but was quickly cut off with a hard roll of his hips over mine. My fingers tightened around his hips so I could control the glide of his ass over my dick, underwear be damned.

“Uh-uh,” he admonished as his fingers closed over my wrists. He lifted his ass off me completely. When he tried to pry my hands from his waist and couldn’t because I was too locked in a haze of lust to let him go, JJ leaned over me again, removing the soft skin of his ass from my groin completely. He braced himself with one hand on the bed and began jerking off his dick with the other.

“Asshole,” I muttered because I knew what he was doing. The same thing I’d threatened to do to him just moments earlier when I’d said I’d pin him in place so he’d be forced to watch me shoot my cum all over his body but not be able to get himself off until I decided he could.

“You win,” I grated. I released my hands from his hips and put them on the bed on each side of my head.

“My poor Cass,” JJ whispered apologetically, but it didn’t really work because he was smiling the whole time.

“Just remember I give back what I get… and more,” I promised.

His dick pressed against my stomach as he kissed me hard. Gone was the gentle foreplay. JJ kissed me until we were both forced to break apart so we could catch our breaths. He quickly straightened but before lowering himself back down on me, he reached behind himself and jerked my underwear down as best he could, considering our positions. It was enough, though, because my cock immediately straightened. I pushed my hips up without giving it even one thought. The sensation of my painfully hard, wet dick gliding between his ass cheeks and hitting his hole had me nearly coming then and there.

JJ remained still except for his hips. He rolled them, causing my dripping dick to caress his asshole several times. We were so close that all it would take was for him to drop more of his weight on me or for me to lift my hips. Thankfully, JJ still bore some sense because he shifted his body so that instead of my cock pressing against his ass, it got a brief feel of his tight balls before it was sliding along his dick. Then his hand was gripping my dick so he could slide it over his own erection. I managed to look down to see our pre-cum mixing as his hand slid the head of my cock over his. The sight of our juices combining and sliding down both our shafts stole my breath.

That small move left behind a different kind of exquisite ache that I’d never once felt before. I shut my eyes again in the hopes of holding back my release. But when I felt JJ’s hand moving my dick away from his, I shouted, “JJ, no⁠—”

He silenced me with a hard kiss. His eyes were so intense with power and lust that I knew what I needed to do. I had to give him everything. All that power that he’d unknowingly wielded over me was finally his and he knew it. I dropped my head back down onto the pillow and closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was feel.

Just feel.

I didn’t bother stifling a moan as JJ slowly slid my cock over his scrotum and then rubbed some of my pre-cum on my balls. I was certain my head was going to implode. My heart was pounding in my chest and sweat was slicking my entire body. When JJ lifted his ass higher, I knew what he was going to do and I welcomed it.

JJ eased my aching dick so that it was once again resting against his ass. His whimper had me opening my own eyes. His head was tilted back as he rubbed the pre-cum—our pre-cum—along the length of my shaft. When he released my dick and it sprang forward until it was once again in contact with his skin, the head of my cock hit the back of his hand. I sucked in a breath as I realized he was using what remained of our juices to lubricate his ass cheeks. Intercourse was off the table for now, but I was already so far gone that there wasn’t one man I’d put my dick inside of that could rival what JJ was about to do.

“Fuck,” I growled when he guided my dick so it was between his ass cheeks. He began rubbing my dick up and down until my cock took over and began sliding through his crease. JJ tightened the globes of his ass as best he could and covered his crease to make sure my cock stayed put and then he began moving. When I lifted my hips, he lowered his. When I lowered, he lifted. The friction was so intense, there were moments that I actually believed I was fucking him.

JJ’s cock bobbed against my abdomen as he increased the pace. He leaned further back so he could keep increasing the friction as he rode me. His free hand was biting into my thigh, but I barely noticed it. I was too busy memorizing the arch of his back and the sounds he made when I began thrusting hard against the hand that was keeping my hungry dick in his crease. At one point, he pressed us together so hard that my very wet dick was sliding over his hole.

I reached my hands up to grasp his hips so he’d have more leverage. Once I knew I was giving him the support he needed, I enveloped his weeping dick in my right hand.

“Oh God, yes, Cass. Right there!” JJ cried. I began jerking him off at the same pace he was riding my dick. He tipped his head forward so he could watch himself essentially fucking my hand. His entire body was trembling, and his skin was slick with sweat. He’d slowed the pace of my dick sliding through his crease, but he didn’t stop entirely. His lips parted every time I rubbed his dick. I could hear the whimpers bubbling up from his throat.

I’d never seen pure bliss before, but now it was right in front of me.

“I wish you could see yourself, JJ. You’re just so goddamn beautiful,” I said softly.

Unexpectedly, JJ stopped moving altogether. I was certain I’d said something wrong until he whispered, “Kiss me, Cass.”

I instantly put my arm completely around his waist and held him in place as I sat up. I covered his mouth with mine and slid my tongue over his. I could taste the slight saltiness of tears as we kissed, but the way JJ kissed me back told me all I needed to know. He was as overwhelmed as me by what was happening.

As incredible as what was happening to us felt, the reality of how close we’d come to losing this moment, this life-changing moment, was terrifying.

JJ’s dick was pressed between our bodies. It hadn’t softened in the least and my body was on fire with need. I could have reached between us to start jerking him off again, but I couldn’t make our bodies separate even the little bit it would take for me to slip my hand between us. His eyes were luminous when he broke the kiss. He wrapped both his arms around my neck as his ass cheeks began riding my dick hard. I kept up the pace as I maneuvered his legs so they were on either side of me. The move had our bodies completely lined up from neck to hips.

I replaced JJ’s hand with mine to keep my dick inside his crease, making sure it was deep enough that the shaft slid over his hole with every thrust. I kept my other arm around his waist to support him as I took over giving our bodies what they both needed. I began fucking JJ hard even though I wasn’t inside of him. It made absolutely no difference. My dick didn’t care, and based on the pool of pre-cum sticking to my abdomen, I doubted his did either.

“Love me, Cass,” JJ demanded as he clung to me. He buried his face against my neck and cried, “I need you to love me.”

“Look at me,” I ordered gruffly. My breath was seesawing out of me as I continued to ride JJ’s crease. He immediately did as I said. There was no fear or uncertainty in his eyes.

“Always,” I promised before I angled my head so my mouth could completely consume his. Just like our lower bodies were doing, our mouths made love, each one giving and taking.

JJ broke the kiss and whispered against my mouth, “I’m close, Cass. I need you to⁠—”

“I’m going over with you,” I finished for him. I couldn’t remember ever having come at the same time as any of my previous hookups, but it was impossible for JJ and me not to come at the same time. That was how in sync our bodies were.

“Harder,” he demanded, his lips brushing mine as he spoke. “Faster!”

I did as he said but as the orgasm crept up my spine, I knew I didn’t have much time. “Come with me, sweetheart,” I said. Like his had done, my lips brushed his in the lightest of caresses with each word.

JJ couldn’t speak but he nodded harshly and then buried his face into the crook of my neck and held on tight. I pumped my dick along his crease once, twice, and then he bit down on my collarbone as his body took control. I could feel his hot juices soaking my abdomen with every jerk of his body. I was surprised I’d even noticed that much because like JJ had wanted, we’d come at the same time. I still had my hand holding my dick against his ass when the orgasm hit. I made sure the head of my dick was just beneath his asshole when the orgasm struck. Every time my release hit his hole, his body jerked and hot cum slid down my body. The give and take seemed to go on forever and even when our dicks were spent, the aftershocks kept hitting us.

When my body started to feel both boneless and heavy, I moved my hand and let my dick slide from JJ’s crease. Streams of thick white cum slid down his crease and dripped onto my spent dick.

“I had no idea,” I admitted even as I clung to JJ. “I had no idea it could be like that.”

JJ had once again buried his face in the crook of my neck. He wasn’t moving at all, but his lips pressed soft kisses against my neck in between his short, heavy breaths. I covered the back of his head and said, “Look at me, baby.”

He lifted his head so our lips were just inches apart. His eyes immediately locked on mine. “This was our first time together,” I told him. My voice sounded gruff and demanding, even to my own ears. “This,” I said firmly. “This was our first time. Do you hear me?”

“Our first time,” JJ agreed. His smile told me what I needed to know. As intense as our sexual encounter in the shower of the cabin had been, that moment had been muddied up by the presence of the old JJ’s ghost. What had just taken place had happened with JJ, the man clinging to me like there was no other place in the world that he was supposed to be. There’d been no ghosts, no memories that weren’t equally shared, no regrets, and no confusion afterwards.

Just me and JJ making love.

Just us.

Me and my JJ.

“I love you,” I whispered.

JJ’s eyes shimmered. He no longer doubted that he was the one I loved with everything I was. I didn’t care if his memory of our time before the shooting ever returned. We’d already made so many new memories that the old ones paled in comparison. I would treasure them for what they’d been, but the man trembling in my lap was the one I would be spending my future with.

“I love you so much, Cass.” JJ fell silent as he stroked back a lock of damp hair that refused to be anywhere but brushing over my forehead.

He continued to toy with my hair as he continued speaking. “My dad, he used to talk about my mom and how much he loved her, but I never really got it. I thought I did but I didn’t. Now,” JJ said as he gave up on taming my hair and dropped his eyes so he was looking at me, “now I get it.” He nodded in slow understanding, looking like he’d stumbled onto some profound discovery.

“I get it,” he repeated and then kissed me sweetly. “So, um, what date was that because I’m pretty sure we hit the fast-forward button somewhere along the way.”

“That wasn’t a date, JJ. That was… us,” I said with a light chuckle because there was just no other word for it.

As I maneuvered our bodies under the covers with JJ already asleep on my chest, I came to a stunning realization. All the holes that had been punched through my soul in the past two years had been filled in, and for the first time in my life I felt something I hadn’t believed possible.

Whole.

I was finally whole.