Chasing The Wild: Chapter 17
The dark rumble hidden in the shadows makes me jump a mile. As I spook at the sound of Colt’s voice, the door slams shut, sounding like a thunderclap going off in this quiet space.
“Hoping one of them is still there?”
Holy shit. He sounds… I don’t know. Aggressive isn’t the word. Territorial perhaps? Like I imagine a wolf guarding their pack would bear glistening fangs in warning.
Either way, a flurry of goosebumps runs along my arms that has nothing to do with the witching hour, or the cold lingering outside.
Tugging my blanket tighter around my shoulders, I step in the direction of Colt’s words. This is the part where I shouldn’t engage, I should take my ass straight back to my bedroom. This little excursion confirms what I needed to see for myself, and I’ve determined he is inside and safe and not frozen solid somewhere out in the snowfall.
Though I can’t seem to rationalize what I should do, with what my feet actually do. Which is carry me closer to where he’s sitting.
Colt is over by the giant bay window of the lounge. He’s seated on a dining chair, looking out over the endless blackness outside. The blinds hang open, and the inky starless sky filled with a million swirling snowflakes consumes the entire vantage point.
He doesn’t flinch as I step toward him. Gaze remaining trained on that window with his broad shoulders that seem to fill half the room. I see he’s still wearing his hat, with a coat slung over the back of the chair, but that’s when my eyes tick down and catch on the glint of metal. There’s a shotgun laid across his lap.
Jesus.
“Planning on sneaking out in the middle of the night?” He’s not even bothering to look my way, just tilts the glass clenched in his hand up against his lips. Staring out into the night like there’s something he’s expecting to see at any moment. Something he’s lying in wait for. “Might be unwise, considering it’s well below freezing by now.”
I shuffle on my feet and realize that I really did just roll out of bed without thinking. Beneath this blanket, I’m only wearing what I had fallen asleep in: a thin oversized t-shirt, knee-high socks, and underwear.
When my brain is completely sober and not so strung out, she has got a heck of a lot of explaining to do in the morning.
“I heard a noise.” Darting my tongue out to wet my lips, I try to get a read on his energy. It’s challenging with him at the best of times, and we still haven’t properly cleared the air after last night. “I was—”
“Sure you did.” Cutting me off, he drawls those words, lifting the whiskey to take another sip, while his other hand rests over the long barrel.
Heat prickles across my chest. The insinuations are thick in the air tonight, and I’m done with Colton Wilder’s bullshit. Why this man keeps circling back to this same old tune is beyond me. Even if all this is just an act and his way of trying to convince himself he shouldn’t want me, the thinly veiled accusations still sting. It doesn’t matter that none of it is true. He doesn’t need to push his own crap and whatever skeletons might lurk in his past onto me.
“That’s honestly what you believe? You really think I wanted to be with any of them?” Rounding on him, I step in between his spot on the chair and the windows. Inserting myself directly in his line of sight.
It might be the middle of the night, and there’s almost nothing illuminating this room except for the embers glowing in the fireplace, but I see the way his eyes sharpen on mine.
I don’t wait for his answer.
“Oh, of course. Because I’m just a slut who will open her knees for anyone, right?”
My nostrils flare. The words I’ve been biting back ever since he first accused me of wanting to take off down the mountain, to chase after his son, start flowing.
“Because I’m just some stupid girl who wants it wherever I can get it, and I don’t care who gets me off?”
I step right up to his spread knees. Heat and liquid courage courses through my veins giving me the freedom to unleash all the thoughts I’ve had bottled up and am now ready to hurl his way.
Yes, I want to be good for him and listen to him and please him, but I also have a fucking spine, and he should know after what happened last night that I’m just as tangled up in this thing between us as he seems to be.
“I’ll tell you right now, all the nights I had guys offering to buy me drinks at the bars I worked in, and who begged to come home with me, and offered to be my Daddy… I never once said yes to any of them. Even the ones who got handsy. Even the ones who threatened me if I didn’t say yes.”
His gaze is thunderous, tension pulses in his jaw.
“Especially not assholes who corner me in the dark and refuse to let go of my arm like that jerk earlier.” I’m aware of how close we are, with me standing between his knees, but this is the dance we do, and I can’t seem to want to hold myself back from being drawn to him.
There’s a force that is Colton Wilder, and I’m completely at his mercy.
“You want to know why I’m sitting here?” His voice rumbles through the air. Gravelly and heavy with the late hour and touch of alcohol.
I nod. Clenching my fists tight on the edges of the blanket. “Yes.”
“The thought of one of them sneaking back up here, after liking what they saw a little too much, is more than I can handle.” He pokes his tongue against the side of his cheek, moving the weight of his focus up and down my body. “The pretty young thing who they only see as a notch in their belt and an opportunity to steal.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
Colt makes a warning noise. “There’s shit from the past that you don’t know about, Layla. So, believe me when I say, there are men who would absolutely try and take the most valuable thing up here. By force if necessary.”
I suck in a breath. “I’m not valuable.”
The man in front of me shifts and knocks back the last of his drink before setting the glass down on the floor beside his chair. With his big paw, he reaches out to rub the hem of the blanket, keeping his darkened gaze on mine.
“You don’t get it, do you? Every single fucking asshole with a pulse around here wants you.”
It’s like the air instantly crackles to life the moment his fingers connect with the soft wool. He hasn’t touched me, but the proximity and nearness of him sends an ache pulsing through my core.
“That doesn’t mean I’m anything special.”
He clutches the blanket tighter in his fist. “Layla.” His voice is thick and acts like a line straight to my pussy when he says my name. “They only see one thing when they look at you.” Colt’s lips curl in a snarl.
I wish there was a way to prove beyond a doubt that I don’t care what they see. But this man won’t take what he wants, and I won’t force him to do something he’ll regret. Wretched tension and longing bind the two of us together in the shadows.
Unwrapping one hand from my blanket, I reach out and nudge the brim of his hat up with my forefinger. Tipping it back, allowing myself to melt underneath the heavy intensity of his stare, I exhale. “I’m not looking their way, cowboy. There’s only one man I’m interested in, and he’s one I can’t have. So, what does that make me… a pathetic slut, or a masochist?”
He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, before letting out the sexiest groan, the sound reaching out and humming in my blood.
Liquid fire pours down into my toes as I finally breathe life into the words we’ve both been feeling and can’t seem to find a way to express. I’m back in that place where I know I’m being too brazen in talking to him like this, but the truth is clamoring to burst out of me.
I don’t want Colt to remain under any kind of illusion. How badly I want him to know… that I’m completely and utterly disinterested in anyone but him.
The foolish, pining mess that I am for this man.
Maybe, just maybe, there’s a way we can play in the shadows while they linger around us, just a little longer. Before dawn creeps in and things have to go back to how they were before.
“Do you like what you see?” I drag my bottom lip between my teeth. Giddy, fluttering hope occupies my chest.
Colt sucks in a sharp breath. A warning, maybe. “You know the answer to that.”
That gruff tone and those glittering, darkened eyes combine to send a throb intensifying between my legs. His hand is so close to touching my thigh, the skin tingles with each agonizing second of lingering proximity.
“What if you didn’t have to cross a line, but could still take what you want? What we both want?” I bite my lip harder. There’s no mistaking the fact he hasn’t let go of the blanket. He wants me to stay right here, so close he must be able to hear my pulse thumping in my throat.
“Layla.” The rough way he exhales my name sends an explosion of butterfly wings in my stomach. “I’ve spent my whole life being selfish, I can’t…”
“But you want to?”
“Yes. When it comes to you… so badly, I don’t think you want to know.”
My stupid little heart does a kick, and my stomach swoops, and I turn a blind eye to all signs warning me to beware the dangerous cliff edge I’m inching toward.
Fuck it, this is insanity, and I’m lost in this forbidden moment, buried beneath the snow and the time of night when things can so easily be hidden away.
“I heard a saying once…” My fingers unclench from the blanket, allowing it to fall open and reveal my figure. Reaching out, I lift his hat off his head, setting it on my own, not missing the flare that catches light behind his honeyed eyes.
“You touch a man’s hat, you’re either planning to fight them or fuck them. So, which do you want with me, cowboy?” Colt takes in my appearance, giving my scantily clad form a long look. I don’t know if it’s too dark for him to see my hard nipples through the thin material of my shirt, but every inch of my skin incinerates as his eyes roam freely.
“Plan on fighting?”
He makes a gravely noise in the back of his throat. Another warning.
“You willingly placed your hat on my head… so, is the real reason you gave me yours in town the other day, the second option?”
He sinks fingers into his hair, mussing those curls up more and goddamn my knees go weak. “I’m not a good man, Layla. Don’t say shit like that when you’re out here at night… dressed in…” Colt drops his hand to scrub over his mouth. “Fuck, when you’re walking around tempting me.”
Every part of him is coiled tight.
I’m a fool for him.
“You know some of the bars where I worked…” I let go of the blanket completely, allowing it to flutter to the floor around my ankles. “We were hired as entertainers.”
He doesn’t just look at me, he consumes every inch of my body. As if this is the first and last time he’ll get the chance to properly lay eyes on me ever again.
“Were you a stripper?” The question barely gets past his gritted teeth. It’s obvious he hates the idea, but is too curious to stop himself from demanding the answer. His fingers ball into fists on top of his knees, fidgeting as if it’s taking everything not to reach forward and grab the backs of my bare thighs before he settles on clutching the edge of the seat on either side of his hips.
My eyelashes flutter. I’m recreating in my mind all the times I observed this exact scene play out while I poured drinks for hour upon hour. “No,” I admit, “But I learned a thing or two watching the other girls who did perform.”
There’s a flicker of relief in the hard lines of his face, only for the briefest moment, before it vanishes and is once again replaced with a stern glare.
“You should go back to bed. You’re going to freeze wearing only that.”
I reach for the gun and try to gently move it off his lap. Hoping to god he’s not going to turn it on me and march me out of here for taking things this far.
“I’m warm enough.” It’s the truth. Right now, my skin feels like it’s burning up.
Colt’s fingers tense around the barrel of the shotgun before I can lift it. “We can’t do this, baby.” His voice drops to a whisper. Even though he’s saying one thing—those words laced with grit and sex and in that deep voice I dream about—he leans over to place the gun on the floor beside the chair.
I swallow heavily, plucking up even more courage at that tiny indication that he’s joining me in this game.
“Nothing is going to happen. Just pretend with me… this is exactly how it would be if you walked into a random bar one night when I was working. Imagine we’re just two strangers. Imagine what it would be like if you paid for a private dance.”
He tenses up instantly. “I’d fucking drag you out of there.”
There’s a coy smile that dances on my lips. I devour the way he’s so possessive, his hair all tousled around his face, his jaw flexing.
“Ah, but you can’t.” I tease. “Remember, the clients aren’t allowed to touch. You’re only allowed to look.”
“That’s a big goddamn ask.” Based on the way his eyes keep flicking up to where his hat rests on my head, then back down to my bare thighs before fixing on my mouth, this is almost too much for him.
Well, fuck. It feels nearly too much for me, too, but I can’t walk away from him. Not tonight.
“It’s ok. We don’t have to do anything else, but this.”
He sucks in a ragged breath as I hook my arms around the back of his neck, and ease forward to straddle his lap. Everything feels so heightened, from the scratch of his jeans against my skin, to the heat radiating off his chest, to the scent of him that I want to nuzzle into.
“Jesus. Layla.” He’s looking down at the spot where my shirt has ridden up, exposing my soft thighs and lace covered pussy. One hand scrubs over his mouth as his gaze bounces back to meet mine.
“I love it when you look at me, Daddy.”
A storm explodes in his eyes.
“Do you like it when I call you that?”
“Fuuuuck.” He groans and tips his head back. Giving me a long, hooded stare that makes my clit throb. “I don’t want to say.”
I nibble on my lip, and let my fingers run through the short hairs on the back of his neck. “You’re so sexy when you make that noise.”
We’re both breathing heavily in the darkness, and desire blooms the longer I spend straddling him. My pussy is soaked, resting above the bulge in his jeans. Beneath me, he’s rock hard, and it would only take the smallest, teensiest roll of my hips to give my body the friction it begs for.
“God, I want to fuck you so bad. I want to be buried inside your cunt this entire winter.”
My teeth catch my bottom lip as a whimper escapes me. Sweet Jesus, this man can talk dirty and I’m going to be putty in his hands knowing that’s what he’s keeping hidden away behind his broody exterior.
“Is this what you’re wearing all the time underneath your jeans out on the ranch? These slutty little knee-high socks?”
“Maybe.” Cocking my head to one side, I study him for a long moment and then lean forward until my aching nipples brush against his chest, lips ghosting against his ear. “Or maybe not, and I like knowing you’ll be asking yourself that question every time you watch me work.”
He curses under his breath.
God, my pulse is flying with the headiness of being this close to him. Pulling back, I peek at him from beneath a curtain of lashes. “Should I leave them on?”
“Yes.” His gruff command makes me shiver.
“What else do you want?”
“Christ. Layla. You’re killing me.”
“It’s ok… you’re not touching. All you’re doing is watching.” I slide my arms off his shoulders, and bring them to the hem of my shirt. His eyes track my every movement as I toy with the edge of the fabric, lifting it just a little.
Colt doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He’s trying so fucking hard not to touch me, and part of me just wants to grab his big palms and place them on me somewhere, anywhere, will do. But in this game where we’re bending the rules to the point where they might shatter, I have to behave. As much as I really want him to pick me up and throw me down on the floor and rail me senseless.
He swallows heavily, the strong line of his throat bobs as his eyes stay transfixed on the spot where my pussy is. “I’m going to hell.”
“I’ll be right there with you.” I breathe. “What do you want to see next?” My fingers inch the hem of my shirt higher, and with the other hand, I tease the lace at the waistband of my underwear, pushing it down ever so slightly.
Colt’s nostrils flare as he fights a silent battle with himself, watching my hands like a hawk the entire time.
“Show me those perfect fucking tits.” His cock jerks beneath me when he finally speaks, his voice husky with desire.
A shudder of pleasure rolls through me, and I hook the thin cotton up to rest over the tops of my breasts. I hitch in a breath, exposing myself fully for the first time. They hang full and heavy with need, and I want him to rip free of his self-restraint, to paw me, and play with them so goddamn bad. If he would only lean forward, close that small distance and take one into his hot, wet mouth.
“Fucking hell.” That delicious noise he makes when he’s turned on makes my pussy clench.
I allow my fingers to roam over my soft flesh, caressing and teasing and stroking, while my nipples turn to diamonds. The little moans coming out of me are breathy and desperate as I cup and pinch both of them beneath Colt’s fearsome gaze.
God, I could die from the way he’s studying every needy motion of my fingers.
The thick hardness of him presses up into me between the layers of his jeans and my barely there scrap of lace. It would take almost nothing for him to unzip and tug the soaked fabric to one side and thrust up into me.
My face must say it all because he makes a strained noise.
“I’m barely hanging on to decency here. There’s too much filthy shit going through my mind for you to be looking at my cock like that.”
I whimper and tug harder on my nipples. Fixating on his mouth as he turns my body molten, dirty-talking me into a soaked mess.
“What else do you want?” As I keep pressing him to tell me every illicit detail, my words are shaky, raspy, and don’t even sound like myself when I finally manage to speak.
Colt shifts his hips beneath me as he readjusts himself in the chair. “Baby, I want to fuck you so badly. I want these tiny lace panties balled up inside my sheets every morning, and I want your sweet cum all over my tongue.”
His words wash over me, leaving me panting.
Holy fuck. I’m clenching and damn near ready to lay myself down right here on the floor at his boots and beg.
“Mmmm, god.” A tug on my nipples. “I want that too.” A roll of my hips. “What else?” Grinding myself down on the firmness of his jeans works my desire tighter.
“I want to slide my tongue inside your sweet little cunt while you’re asleep. Have your body fall apart while you’re still dreaming, then shove inside you.” He hisses as my hips shift over the head of his cock. “I’d fill your pussy up so fucking deep you’d never be able to forget me.”
With how swollen my clit is, the friction sends electric sparks flying down to my toes. I’m perched in his lap, with my soaking wet core rubbing over him, and my fingers teasing my sensitive tits. It’s going to take next to nothing for me to fall apart if I actually touch myself in front of him.
But I don’t know that he’ll let it get that far, if how rapidly he pulled away last night is anything to go by. This could all end any second now, the moment Colt’s conscience comes crashing in. How long will he allow us to stay trapped within this carnal bubble?
Will he halt this madness before we tumble over the edge, swallowed up by this illicit moment? Right now, only the snow falling outside bears witness to the dangerous game we’re playing.
“Layla, baby. That’s it, keep making a mess of me,” he murmurs, eyes transfixed on the place where I’m pressing down over his length. Through the dim light, I can see the tension in his neck and the strain on his face with each shift of my hips.
“Do you want to look?” I whisper, skating one hand down the soft swell of my stomach, until I play along the outline of lace. Letting my fingers rest over the top of my aching clit for a second before sliding over to the edge. Just low enough that if I hook the side, I can tug them and reveal exactly how needy I am for this man.
“Fuck.” His hand lifts, and then hovers in the space between us, before he drags it over his mouth with a dark groan. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, baby. If you let me see your cunt, I’m going to want inside you. I’m going to want to eat you until you’re begging me to stop. But I know I won’t be able to stop. There’s no going back for me once that happens and I’m not going to be able to keep myself from fucking you in every one of your sweet little holes.”
Well, holy shit. The moan that drops out of me is pornographic.
The mouth on this man. He coats me from head to toe in a dizzying, wanton kind of temptation—the kind that screams and demands absolutely everything he just promised.
“It’s yours if you want to look. I won’t tell anyone.” I rub a little harder over the outside of the lace. My eyelashes flutter as the liquid heat settles low in my stomach. I’m not even sure I can feel my toes anymore.
“God, you’re the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” Colt’s intense stare at the spot where I’m working myself smolders like the embers of that bonfire still burning outside. His praise glows hot and carnal straight through me and sets a fire in my veins.
Another whimper escapes me, every thick inch of him feels tempting and sinful beneath his jeans.
“Slide your fingers inside from the top, baby. Don’t show me or I’m going to lose my goddamn mind.” He growls and my stomach caves as the vibrations roll through my body. I do as he says, slipping beneath the waistband and dipping my finger through the slickness to make contact with my clit.
“Jesus. You’re fucking soaking wet, aren’t you?” He sounds almost angry, as I nod and my breath hitches as I finally make contact with the aching, swollen bud.
“That’s it. Rub that spot in nice slow circles for me.”
My mouth hangs open as pleasure rapidly gathers momentum and my pulse thunders in my ears.
“You like that middle finger?”
“Mmmfuck. Yes. God. I’m so close already.” I whine. My hips are rolling and my fingers pinch my nipple and all I can focus on is the hunger written all over Colt’s face. Every tiny, desperate movement beneath my panties is in response to this man’s attention as I work myself and the crest of the wave draws nearer.
“Fuck. Fffuuuck. That’s it. Just like that, eyes on me while you give it to me like a good fucking girl.”
His rough words and coaxing do me in. I fall apart with a moan as my orgasm curls up from my toes and sweeps me away.
“Fuck. Baby. I’m gonna come.”
Beneath my pussy, I feel his hips jerk. His cock pulses where he’s pressed tightly against me as his own release takes hold. Colt’s eyes squeeze shut, lips curling into a grimace of pleasure, and we’re both breathing hard, mouths only inches away from each other in the darkness.
Holy shit. I’ve never felt anything that intense before, and this man didn’t even touch me.
We both sit there, allowing our hearts to stop galloping, and the headiness of the moment drapes over me like the softest blanket. All I want to do is burrow into his chest and beg for him to take me to his bed. The need to have his strong arms wrapped around me is almost overwhelming as I fumble my way back into my body.
I don’t want this moment to end, but it has to.
That was all this was ever going to be.
A brief moment when we could suspend reality and indulge in something we both know can’t happen.
I let the hem of my shirt fall and pull my hand from my underwear, feeling the wetness of my cum drag up against my overheated skin.
Even though this was our midnight bargain, I’m desperate for more of his rough kisses. To have him steal my breath and kidnap me to that illicit place where all I want to do is submit and worship and be filled by him. My eyes bounce between his lips, his strong brow, his molten eyes. I see the moment that hazel gaze drops to my mouth, before he takes a deep inhale through his nose.
His self-restraint wins out, and my stupid heart squeezes with longing.
“Layla.” There’s a heaviness and weariness to his tone. “You’re a goddamn dream, and I don’t ever want to wake up, but you’re gonna have to do what you did for me last night. You’re gonna have to, because I’m not a good man and I just don’t trust myself right now.”
I nod. Slowly. Shakily. Still foggy and high after my orgasm. “Ok,” I whisper, and ease back off him. Biting on the inside of my cheek.
My legs are unsteady as all hell, but I bend down to scoop up the long-forgotten blanket and bundle it against my chest, taking one last look at the man I’m torn in two by.
There’s an ocean of desire staring back at me as our eyes lock, but I can’t push this any further. It has already gone too far and there’s every chance Colt already hates himself for letting this temptation lure him in, even if he didn’t do anything more than watch me.
I’m the first to drop my gaze. Taking his hat off, I place it over his knee before ducking my head.
Once again, I’m the one to walk away, because he asked me to, because I want to please this man against all my better judgment and hope that things could be somehow different between us.
As I crawl into my bed with a tightness in my throat, my pulse thrums in my neck when I hear his heavy footfall follow not long behind me. For a tortuous second, I swear his footsteps pause right outside my door, before disappearing, fading away in the direction of the lounge.
Resuming his guard over me while I sleep, as I lie burrowed beneath the sheets covered in my own arousal, with a burning in my chest for wanting a man that I simply cannot have.